Mon, Mar. 6th, 2017, 03:30 am
Leave me an anonymous comment pouring your heart out.
Say anything. Tell me your stories, your secrets, those things no one ever asks but you wish to tell. Tell me about your love, your hate, your indifference, your joy. Tell me about what's inside of you when you're reading through these entries on your friends list, and tell me why you continue to come back here. Tell me anything. Tell me what you really think of me or yourself. Anything.
Post anonymously [by selecting the anonymous box]. Speak honestly, because there isn't any censure here. Post as many times as you like. One faceless wonder to another. You don't have to be on my friends list. You can just be stopping through. It doesn't matter.
And then, pass it on.
Tue, Mar. 6th, 2007 09:58 pm (UTC)
Why hasn't anyone put anything here yet?
I hate feeling like my life is being censored. I hate the feeling of not being able to do or say or even eat what I want sometimes because it wouldn't coincide with social norms, or it wouldn't seem like a very "me" thing to do. Doesn't that defy the whole purpose? If we want to do something, why don't we just do it? Won't that fit our personality better than what others expect us to do?
I guess I'm just fed up with having to meet up with everyone's expectations. I know I don't have to, but I do anyway. That has to change.
I feel so constrained by everyone and everything. I just want to be me.
Tue, Mar. 6th, 2007 10:36 pm (UTC)
there is no way i can express how much i love you. and not just you but all the people around me and you and anyone in the world. i have such compassion for human beings will all their mistakes and stupidities and beauty. we are imperfect, but something in that is so perfect. i want to help people and i get pissed of when i cant. when all i can do is just stand there and watch whats happening. its so beyond my control, and i can hardly handle it. its because i love you so much that i want to be able to save you. but why does it have to be me? why cant i just be satisfied in your survival, by whatever means? so obviously my motives aren't purely unselfish and part of me wants to be able to say i was the one who was there for you. i dont want to be this way. sometimes i think that im the only one who can help you, maybe thats why i act like this. i dont mean to. im sorry if it hurts you. that seems to happen alot. people try to help, but they end up hurting more than helping. parents seem to be pros at this.
i do this sometimes, writing my thoughts like a letter to a best friend, or a specific person. but they never see it. now everyone's seeing it. or, everyone who's your friend on livejournal. i dont know if thats good or bad... whatever. anyway, thanks for this wes.
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 12:37 pm (UTC)
I have a hard time asking for help, especially when I need it. It's a skill I'm working on. So please, help me. As far as I know, you aren't hurting me. You are more than welcome for this, and thank you for being here for me.
Tue, Mar. 6th, 2007 11:57 pm (UTC)
There's a girl at my school who was raped when she was little. At least, that's what I overheard her telling her friend. Anyway...I feel really, really bad. Not for her. Not because she was raped. But because I can see WHY she was raped. She seems like a very rapable kind of person. It's the same concept as seeing someone who you want to kick repeatedly just because it'd be fun to watch them cry. It seems like it would actually be fun to emotionally scar that girl for life. Which is an utterly terrible thing to think.
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 12:12 am (UTC)
Sometimes I don't wash my hands after having sex with my girlfriend, and then I sniff them for the rest of the day and think about how I just fucked her.
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 11:37 am (UTC)
sex isnt that important to me. its more something I would like to get out of the way, sure it seems nice but it doesnt rule my life like alot of males. and Im getting to the age where its odd to be a virgin, so in that sense I would just like to get it over with, but I want it to be special also.
and itss not like Im religious or have moral views on sex, I just cant really explain how I dont really want to.
vaginas are intimidating.
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 08:35 pm (UTC)
I want to thank everyone who has ever hurt him for making him who he is. Then I want to take their lives violently and without remorse.
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 11:41 pm (UTC)
sometimes i'm afraid we aren't really in love anymore and that we're both going through the motions so we don't have to hurt each other
Wed, Mar. 7th, 2007 11:47 pm (UTC)
i hate feeling like a failure and not knowing what i'm doing with my life. i hate that everyone has a passion for something and that nothing grabs my interest enough for me to stick to it. i hate feeling that all i'm good at is cooking and cleaning and that although i know i'm smart enough for my classes i feel overwhelmed by them and so i avoid going and end up failing. i hate that there's no one to tell these things to because everyone wants to fix it and i just need someone to know besides me
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 12:13 am (UTC)
i really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really wish i could forget about him.
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 05:33 am (UTC)
there are some days when I seriously consider finding some pharmecuticals and overdose quietly. Sometimes I feel hypocritical when people find me positive and happy when I can't cheer myself. I know I'm not in any danger of actually doing it, as there are too many ties to life and I could never think of doing hurting my family and friends that much. I just feel overwhelmed. But there are days when I wish I could tell someone this and they wouldn't judge me as weak.
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 06:43 am (UTC)
This is actually a letter I wrote to someone else, but have not, and probably will not give to them, so don't freak out..haha.
does any of what you have to say have anything to do with me? or have you just forgotten. Forgotten what we shared, and still share, but hold back because of fear. I have never been more sure of anything in my life, and for me, that's saying something. I see things happening with you. My life seems more clear with you in it. It seems happier and at ease. You want the truth? I love you. I can't believe I just said that And it felt good. It felt like my heart just lost 500 pounds, and is free. I want to say it again. I love you. As much as it scares me to say, it feels so good. I love you. okay, I'll stop. But I do, and I would do anything for you. When you don't come home late at night, I worry that your car is crashed somewhere off the side of the road. I get scared, and yes, sometimes jealous. I don't know half the people you do. I want to ask. I want to ask so badly, but I'm no longer allowed...we don't have those rights with each other anymore. And now you're leaving. You are going to a better place. I'm so happy for you, that you are pursuing your dreams. You are going places man. You have been blessed with so many talents, and they will soon be seen by the world. That makes me so happy. The world is going to know you, I know it. You said you wanted the truth, this is what you get from me. Who knows what will happen in the future? who ever knows? maybe you'll miss me those 3,000 miles away...most likely, you won't even notice I'm gone. I just wish the best for you. I love you. Seriously.
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 06:45 am (UTC)
oh, and vaginas aren't THAT intimidating ok? at least until you get to know one I guess.
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 07:27 am (UTC)
I am tired of seeing happy couples around me. I feel that if I can't be happy in a relationship then no one should be and I generally get pissed when the ones I am closes to start to get serious about their relationship. I would be willing to settle for an abusive relationship to just hear someone say that they love me and want me.
Thu, Mar. 8th, 2007 07:29 am (UTC)
I envy people who are passionate about something that is clearly within reach. They take what they have and run with it, letting their passion grow with their fortunate circumstances.
I envy people who are happy as pie in their relationships, but not really. They say that half of all marriages don't work out. Marriage sounds like a really scary thing because sure, you might be happy right now, but there is a 50% chance that in the future you will be SO unhappy that you will break it off and be hurt for the rest of your life. THAT'S just great.
I envy savants.
I envy people who are really really really smart, or really beautiful and thin, or really really selfless, and I especially envy people who don't care what other people think about them. They don't wallow in self pity when they cannot find people to hang out with or when they think someone is angry at them.
I envy people who are brilliant at writing, or adapting to new situations, or making millions of friends despite personality differences.
I envy people who know exactly what they want to do with their lives.
I envy people who are motivated to do whatever they see fit whenever they want to and get away with it.
I envy people with really fast metabolisms, and super jocks too.
I wish I could compile different elements from everyone and stick them together almost as if I were making a scrapbook. I could pull out little bits of personality or beauty or genius or selflessness whenever I wanted. How amazing would that be?
Fri, Mar. 9th, 2007 12:39 am (UTC)
I don't know what to do with my life. I used to have a plan, but no longer.